quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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