I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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