I think my vagina is haunted
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
