The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
