when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
