Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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