Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
