is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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