we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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