you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just google imaged poop.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
