every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
