I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
