eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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