thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
