Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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