Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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