from now on my penis is your penis
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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