I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
