i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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