I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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