That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
