my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
