Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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