Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
