Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
