And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
