I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
