You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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