none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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