I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
