Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
