3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You're like the curious george of whores
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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