P.S. I can't hear my feet
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize