hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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