Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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