Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
