No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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