Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
