before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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