Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
