i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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