the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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