So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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