3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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