i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
