were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
