We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
