GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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