he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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