apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
