We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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