So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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