i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
