So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
