dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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