Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
