im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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