Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s