I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
lying in bed pretending to be a slug