Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!