Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
