Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
