Don't you send me to vm
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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