her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
